Bring Me to Life
by KiraKokoro
Summary: After Ulquiorra died he's reborn into the World of the Living plagued by dreams of Orihime. Their secret love had more of an effect on him than anyone could know. After being taken in by a kind old man, will he find a new love? Or will he be held back?
1. Chapter 1

**Bring Me to Life**

**Ch.1 I'm Sorry**

_I found myself surrounded by clouds of warm steam. A shadow passed through the mist in front of me. It was a woman. She stepped out of a billow of steam to my right. "Ulquiorra…." She whispered in my ear. She was very close. I felt the heat rise to my face. I knew she was smiling at my blush._

_ She moved behind me. Wrapping her arms around me, she kissed the feverish flesh of my neck. A low gasp escaped my lips. "C'mon Ulqui-kun, let me in." Her breath tickled against the back of my neck. I felt her fingers running through my wispy raven hair. _

_ "Why are you torturing me like this?" I whispered. Her high pitched giggle echoed through the mist. She pushed me into a wall that hadn't been there before. I gasped at the impact. She didn't hesitate; she kissed me, pushing her tongue into my mouth. She bit my lower lip playfully. _

_ I stood in shock fighting the urge to kiss her back. "Why won't you let me into your heart, Ulquiorra?" She sounded sad. I felt bad, she cared for me and I was pushing her away…. _

_ "I'm sorry…."_

I shot up, barely contained tears threatening to overflow. _Orihime…._ Frustration and anger swelled up inside me. _She left me; I don't care about her anymore. _I knew I was lying to myself.

I rubbed my eyes and looked around. I felt my jaw drop. _Where the hell am I?_

I was sitting on the grass under a big cherry blossom tree. People were milling about paying me no attention. It looked extremely familiar. I stood up and noticed the giant crater in the ground about five yards away. _Oh my God... this is Karakura! _"How did I get to the World of the Living?" I hissed. "Damn…. I don't even know what year it is. How long have I been gone?"

Images of Ichigo and Orihime flashed through my mind. _My heart… died with her…. _No I can't let myself feel sadness right now; I have things to do, or at least to figure out.

I walked passed an old man with graying brown hair and thick glasses sitting on a bench, reading a newspaper not too far away. Sneaking a glance at the newspaper as I walked by, I saw the year was 2010. _It'_s_ been five years. Five years I was gone…. I bet a lot has changed. _"Damn…."

The man must have heard me because he looked up from his paper. His jaw dropped and he raised an eyebrow. "Hey kid, where are your clothes?" he asked nervously. I started at his ridiculous question. _My clothes…? What is he talking about? _I looked down. I was wearing nothing more than the torn pants of his hakama. This could be bad.

"Oh-I uh… I don't really know…. Huh." The man gave mw a look that told me he thought I was crazy.

The man sighed. He sounded exasperated, like he saw half naked young men running around all the time. "You don't have any money do you?" I shook my head. The man heaved another heavy sigh. "Come on, I'll get you some proper clothes. By the way, what's your name? I'm Arashi Ikeda." This shocked me. Why was this man showing me, or all people, such a kindness?

"My name is…. Ulquiorra."

Arashi bought a few shirts, some shoes, and pants, along with various toiletries. "Ulquiorra," he asked," do you have a place to stay?" Again, I shook my head. "Alright then, you can stay with me." The man beamed at him. I, who didn't really feel like smiling, just nodded at him.

"Thank you, Arashi."

The man lived in a little house beside a medical clinic. Inside it was neat and homey. A fire was going in the fire place and the radio had been left on. "Follow me," he told me. Arashi led me up the stairs to a little bedroom. The walls were light blue, the floor dark mahogany. There was a small bed piled with pillows in the corner with a black bed spread. Black curtains hung over the windows. Dark, sad looking paintings. A desk sat against the wall by the bed. Papers were piled against the blue desk lamp sitting on top. In the corner across from the bed a giant bookcase loomed over them. It too was made of dark wood, like the floor. It was like the room was made for me.

I nodded at the man and said simply, "Thank you, Arashi."

The older man blushed and looked at his feet. "Its no big deal, this used to be my son's room. You remind me of him, actually." He looked wistful. Arashi pointed at the paintings. "He painted those you know," he said sadly. I felt for the man.

"Did he die? The person I cared for is also gone." Arashi looked at him, shocked.

"Well then we have something in common. Make yourself at home. I'll be making dinner soon." He smiled at him and turned to leave. "Oh and Ulquiorra," he stopped in the doorway, "I think we'll be needing to sign you up for school…."

This confounded me. "School?"

Arashi laughed. "We'll talk about it at dinner." He left the room. I could here him clomping down the stairs.

"What a strange man, just taking me in like that…. I supposed it's because I remind him of his son. I wonder what happened to him." I was talking to myself.

I lounged on the bed for awhile trying not to think of _her_. It was not going well. Her face flashed before my mind's eye. Countless emotions crossed her features. Defiance, anger, smiles, laughter, sadness, tears, pain…_love._ That was exactly what I didn't want to think about: our love. Short and sad, she had opened me up to emotions, given me a heart, a whole new world…. And then she sat there and let that damned Kurosaki kill me, taking it all away. Did she regret it?

I knew I would probably always love Orihime, even if I was angry enough to hate her. _She's dead so it doesn't matter anyway_….

_I was standing there, in the mist again. I felt her near. She approached me from the back again, wrapping her arms around my neck. She kissed my hair. _

_ Pulling me to her, she twisted me around in her arms so that I would face her. She looked almost frightened, like the first time I had met her. I shivered. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked her. She pouted._

_ "I miss you Ulqui." _ She's lying! Don't believe her! _I told myself. _

_ "No you don't," I was angry now, "You let me _die!_" I shouted. Her face was defiant._

_ "I'm sorry…."_

I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep until I woke up. _When am I going to stop dreaming of that woman?_ I was angry. At her, at Kurosaki, and especially at myself, for not being more angry with _them_. _They're stupid, pointless emotions not worth feeling_, I had always told myself. Then she opened me up, bit by bit, introducing me to emotion. Happiness, sadness, anger, pain, smiling… _love. _

She taught me to feel and love, and now it hurts even worse than before. My eyes stung as tears threatened. No, I was tired of crying….

My brooding was interrupted when Arashi called me down for dinner. I glided lightly over the stairs. "Good evening, Arashi." He jumped.

"Gosh, I didn't even hear you come down the stairs." He looked at me, cocking an eyebrow. "Are you alright, Ulquiorra?" My name didn't suit his voice. It didn't glide silkily over his tongue like it did _hers_. "Ulquiorra?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes, I'm fine." I knew I was being proper, but that was my way. I was _not_ growing close to anyone else.

I sat down at the table, across from Arashi. "I have to ask," he told me, "Is that makeup you're wearing?" He gestured toward my face with his fork.

"What are you referring to, Arashi?"

"Those uh tear track looking things." It was then I realized I hadn't seen my own face for years.

"Do you have a mirror?" I asked. He looked baffled by the question. But he got up anyway and picked a mirror off the counter.

"You are one strange kid. Here." I held the mirror in front of me, bracing myself, and looked. Big emerald eyes stared back at me from a pale, doll-like face. My messy raven hair looked very much the same. But my mask was gone. (I suppose this was a good thing.) The green tear tracks were still there and my black upper lip. I raised an eyebrow. I looked the same, not even a little bit older. _Odd…._ "Ulquiorra? Hello?" Arashi's rough voice woke me from my revere.

"No," I told him, "It's not makeup, that' just my face." I smiled at him weakly. He laughed.

"Alright, alright, eat your dinner." I looked down at my plate, steamed buns, carrots, and scrambled eggs stared back at me. I pursed my lips, staring the food down. My gaze flickered to Arashi who seemed to be enjoying the food. I picked up my fork and stabbed at the scrambled eggs, putting a piece in my mouth. It was quite good. I realized I had never eaten before. The only time I had even seen food was to bring it to _that woman_.

"Oh, Ulquiorra, I forgot to ask, how old are you?" I thought about this. Physically I was probably fifteen, though I had lived for far, far longer.

Deciding I shouldn't tell him I was over one hundred years old I said, "I'd guess about fifteen." He gave me a funny look.

"You'd _guess?_" I nodded. He grunted. "Fine, fine, but if you _are_ fifteen, you'll be needing to go to high school." _High school…. Where have I heard that before_? Oh yes, the woman was in high school…. What do I have left to learn? But maybe it will keep my mind off… _her. _

"Um yes, school. What school would I be attending, then?"

He chuckled. "The only one in Karakura, Karakura High." I gulped, that was the school _she _attended. If she was alive she would have graduated by now. She had so many dreams.

"Okay."

"Good I'll sign you up tomorrow. It's the end of July, you know, so school will start up pretty soon."

"Yes, thank you, Arashi." He was a very kid man, I decided.

After I finished dinner, I went up to my new bedroom. I read on of the books from the shelf until I feel into a fitful sleep. The woman didn't haunt my dreams that night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ch. 2 Wall**

I spent the rest of my summer reading the books on the shelf, and dreaming of the woman more and more frequently. The first night at Arashi's house was the last time I got a decent night's sleep. The woman haunted my every thought. I wasn't safe even during the day. I would probably always bare the wounds she inflicted.

Even if my world was shrinking in on itself, one other person was let in every so often: Arashi. I had grown fond of the man. His honesty and compassion melted through my wall eventually.

My wall, it had gotten taller, thicker, and more impenetrable than ever. No one else would ever be let in if I could help it. My nature had gone from cold to walking blizzard. When I went out (which was rarely) people on the street give me scared looks and got out of my way. It reminded me of how the other arrancar used to treat me. It also made me sad. Not that I had ever really been happy, but at least I hadn't been sad before. The closest I _had_ been to happy was when that woman had been around….

_Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She sat there never taking her eyes off me. A look of pain crossed her features. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her either. She was a distraction in the midst of battle. I was already in my second release form, but it seemed the shinigami had an even higher power also. I felt his sword go through me. The woman screamed. "NO! Ulquiorra!" She reached out a hand at the same time I did. I would have been able to touch her one last time, but my hand had turned to dust. _The heart….

_ "Orihime—" I tried to call out to her, but the rest of me was gone before anything got out. The last thing I saw was my body blowing away in the wind, and her lips screaming my name._

I shot up in bed, my hair and face sticky with sweat. "O-Orihime…." I couldn't stop them this time, the tears overflowed. "W-why d-did she le-leave me?" The tears were slow at first but they eventually turned to heavy sobs. I had been holding all of this in for my whole life.

I heard Arashi pounding up the stairs. He must have heard me. My door slammed open seconds later. "Ulquiorra? What happened? What's wrong?" I just shook my head at him, trying to gain my composure. I couldn't let anyone, even Arashi, see me like this.

He sighed. "Did something happen? Did you have a bad dream?" I felt like a child.

My sobs had quieted and become less frequent, though tears still leaked down my cheeks. I sucked in a big breath of air. "N-no, I'm fine Arashi." My voice was still shaky. It irked me that he would see me in this condition.

"Fine," he huffed. He sounded almost hurt. "Just remember you start school tomorrow. Speaking of which, your uniform came in today. You should try it on." I nodded and he left the room. I heard him clomping loudly down the stairs.

"I hope he's not angry with me…. No, he's probably just hurt. Why is that? I hurt everyone around me." Anger and disgust bubbled up inside me. I could have hit myself. This man that cared about me, I was pushing him away, hurting him so he wouldn't hurt me. _I'm such a selfish creature. _No, I can't just sit here wallowing. I decided to go downstairs and face Arashi.

I rubbed my eyes and heaved myself out of bed, pulling on clean clothes. I slide silently down the stairs.

Arashi was standing in front of the oven cooking something. He didn't look up. I couldn't tell if he was ignoring me or just hadn't heard. My eyes traveled around the room the worn blue-gray wall paper with more of the dark whimsical pictures his son had painted. It was defiantly not the nicest home, but home it was. I felt comfortable here. I my eyes landed on the gray uniform hanging on the chair. I picked it up. It was simple; a gray jacket, gray pants. The fabric was rough and cool against my fingers. The rustle of fabric must have alerted him to my presence because Arashi looked up from his cooking.

His face was neutral; he was trying to hide what he was feeling. I could still tell though, he was hurt. The way his body was positioned, the way his head hung. His eyes had lost their usual light. Guilt burned in my stomach. I looked down at the uniform again. I could feel him staring at me. My gaze flickered up, and quickly back down again.

What was wrong with me? I was usually the one people couldn't look at. What have I become? I guess I'm not a terrifying espada anymore. If I was would he still love me like she did?

"I'm going to try this on," I told him. He grunted in response. I walked back up the stairs, into the bathroom. I looked into the mirror. I looked horrible. There were dark circles under my red rimmed eyes. My lip was scabbed where I had bit it in my sleep. I removed my shirt and looked down at where my hollow hole had been. Now there was just a circular scar. It was cold to the touch. Something thumped slightly to the left of it and I jumped. _Was that… my heart? I… have a heart? _I laughed nervously. I had a heart. I couldn't stop laughing. It was so ironic. This thing I had always wanted, it hurt. More than anything I had ever experienced. Even being turned into an arrancar paled in comparison. The choking giggles soon turned to sobs. And there I was again curled up on the floor sobbing uncontrollably. _Damn it…._

I passed out after that.

I woke up in my bed. Arashi was peering over me looking concerned. "So, you're finally awake. You were out for five hours. What happened?"

I was shocked. "Five hours?" He nodded and looked at me expectantly. He wants to know…. "I don't know why I passed out, Arashi. There are just some things about me…. I don't know what to tell you." I couldn't even look at him. He sighed.

"Does this have to do with the person you lost, Ulquiorra?"

"…Yes."

"What was her name?"

"O-Orihime"

"A beautiful name," He smiled, "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I'm here if you do."

"Thank you." I wanted to smile at him, but it just wasn't in me.

"You still need to try on your uniform." He reminded me. I nodded, sitting up. Black spots swam across my vision. I shook my head to clear it. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and slowly tried to stand up. My knees almost buckled but I caught myself in time. "Maybe you should lie down for a little longer…."

"Yeah." I laid back down. He gave me one last long, concerned look and left the room. I fell into an uneasy sleep.

_ A shadow of the woman appeared before me. She was writing on the wall of steam to my left. I turned to see what it said._

Taking down the wall.

Nothing to throw but punches.

My bloody knuckles,

Aching, Breaking

As your screams goad me on.

_She turned away from her writing and stared at me. "Why don't you love me, Ulquiorra? Why did you let me die?"_

_Anger boiled inside me. "Me? _I _let _you _die? _I _did_ nothing! _You're the one who left _me_ for dead!" Tears were slipping silently down my cheeks._

_She looked sad. "Fine, Ulquiorra. Put your stupid wall back up. Keep everyone out; I won't be there to save you this time." That look of defiance that first pulled me in crossed her features. She stormed off into the mist, taking the writing with her._

_I reached out, but it was too late, she was gone._

I woke up hours later, no better off than I was before. I looked out the small window, it was dark out. The clock on the desk said eight thirty-six. I noticed the uniform laying across the end of my bed. I picked it up. I put the jacket on over my shirt. It fit well enough. The pants though were a bit more difficult to get on. I wasn't sure if I could stand up yet or not, so I tugged them on sitting down. It was not a graceful process but they fit too.

My stomach growled. I realized I was hungry. I stood up slowly and found that I could walk. I made my way down the stairs. Arashi had already gone to bed but he had left dinner, or rather breakfast, on the table. It was a little cold, but I hadn't eaten all day so I didn't care. I ate it quickly.

Even though I had slept all day, I still felt tired. I took a shower and then went to bed. I didn't even read. As I was about to fall in to what was sure to be another restless sleep, the fact dawned on me that I would be going to school tomorrow.

_I found myself in a small class room. A flash of orange hair made me turn, but she was gone, out the door. I moved to follow her. Out in the hallway I saw just a flash of her again. I followed. Everywhere flashes of orange hair, gleams from her hair pins, and rushes of white fabric. Where was she going? I turned the last corner and found myself at a dead end. It was empty except for a pool of blood. And in that pool of blood, two blue flower hair pins._

I sat up in bed. "That has got to be a bad sign." I sighed heavily and got out of bed. I grabbed a black shirt and pulled my uniform on over that.

Arashi was sitting at the table eating cereal and reading the paper when I came down stairs. He looked up and smiled. "Morning, Ulquiorra."

"Good morning." I sat down across from him, grabbing a bowl of cereal.

"I have you books here, and a bag." He passed them across the table. The books were heavy and the bag was small and red.

"Thank you." He just smiled and nodded. He was quiet for awhile. Then,

"Ulquiorra, do you like cats?" _Cats?_ I thought of Grimmjow. I did not like him very much.

"No, I don't think I do." My lip curled.

"Oh, have you had cat before." I shook my head. "Then how do you know?"

"What is this even about?" I snapped. Thinking of Grimmjow had given me a bad temper.

Arashi looked shocked. "Umm… nothing. Anyways, are you nervous about school?"

I shrugged. "I guess. Sorry I snapped…."

"Its okay, if you feel that strongly about cats…." He sort of smiled.

I sort of laughed. "I should get going."

"You remember how to get there, right?" Arashi had taken him a few times over the summer.

"Yes. See you later." He waved, and I walked out the door.

It was warm. A cool breeze was whispering through the trees. I was just starting out when I small girl with black hair ran out of the medical clinic down the street. She stopped when she saw me, her eyes widening. She was short and petite, but she looked fierce. He black hair was cropped short, but her bangs fell in her face. We stared at each other for a while, and then she broke the silence. "Hi, I'm Karin. Who're you?"

"I'm Ulquiorra." He noticed her uniform was the same color as his. Only it was a skirt. I noticed she had shorts on underneath.

"Huh, weird name. What class are you in?"

"Four-B I believe."

"Me too." We walked in a comfortable silence.

It wasn't a long walk we arrived at school about fifteen minuets later. "You're not much of a talker are you?" she asked.

"No."

"Good, me either. I think I could keep you around." She gave me a sort a charming half smile. The corners of my mouth twitched in a way that could have been a smile.

"Hey Karin!" someone called. I looked up. A small girl with wavy black hair and beautiful gray eyes, like a stormy sea, was jogging towards us. She was attractive he had to admit, and she had a kind face. She walked the last few steps panting. "Good morning, Karin." She huffed, "Who's this?" She gave me a skeptical looks that read of defiance, a defiance like I had only seen before in Orihime. Come to think of it her face was sort of the same shape and her eyes held the same spark of happy light. He could only stare.

She raised an eyebrow. "Spacing out, stranger boy?" Her silky voice demanded.

"Oh, sorry, I'm Ulquiorra." I tried to smile at her but it was more of a grimace. She stuck bit her bottom lip in concentration. She was staring me down. I looked away and snorted, amused by this. She was angry now, her eyebrows furrowing in frustration. She did not look like someone I would want on my bad side._ She has a quick temper_, I thought to myself. "Um, sorry, that was a little rude of me. Would you mind telling me your name?"

This seemed to annoy her even more, but she reigned in her anger. Looking me straight in the face with her piercing gray eyes she said, "Kotonashi. Kotonashi Kanashimi." The look of defiance painted her features again ad she looked up at me, daring me to say something.

What came out surprised me. "That's a beautiful name." Then I really did smile. It was the first genuine smile that had come over my lips since Orihime. It would lead to many more….


End file.
